I didn’t know how long it had been since I’d written in this space. I was almost afraid to look. But of course I did look (spoiler: six months). And then I read through my last couple of posts, and smiled while remembering the happenings I’d written about. I’ve been told that we seem to live a charmed life here, and I know that I consciously use this blog to help me see the joy in our days, but it struck even me how happily I presented our adventures, how lively our days had seemed.
Why did I stop writing?
Six months ago, J was in his last term of nursing school. He was gone more than he was here, and was preparing for the single biggest exam of his life. Six months ago, we pulled Beans out of the public pre-K program she was attending and sent her back to her nursery school. We added a 30 minute drive, each way, to our schedules, three days a week, and felt like total deviants for withdrawing her from school – even though we had already departed the beaten path by homeschooling her sister. Six months ago, I took on new responsibilities in my own job, and the other tasks I’d been managing didn’t transfer off of my plate immediately. My new roles are far more in line with my skill set and with what I want to do, but there was still a learning curve in terms of new programs and systems and deadlines.
It was a lot, and something had to give. Sadly, it was my writing that went the way of the buffalo.
I’m breathing deeply again these days. Last weekend, we drank coffee until almost 10am, ate snacks when we got hungry, and wandered around the yard looking at puddles and branches and things turning green. There was no plan or schedule, and I finally relaxed. I’ve been sick for over a month now, rallying for a day or two and then crashing again, and I can’t help but feel that I simply cashed in all my chips over the last six months and my immune system is digging its heels into the mud, refusing to run at that pace any longer. Fair enough; I can take the hint.
J is working full-time as a registered nurse in the Critical Care Unit. Beans is thriving in a loving and supportive school environment. I’m beginning to see the possibilities around us again. I won’t set any crazy blogging goals – let’s just take it one day at a time, shall we? I think that’s best. But it does feel good to be back in this space. Yes, it does.